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Dec. 25th, 2005 @ 05:02 pm XMAS
Mashi's mood: crazy
Mashi's music: random xmas songs

WAZZZZZZZZZZUP!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

EVERYONE MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

PEACE OUT

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btw everyone....me got a ROBORAPTOR!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT

About this Entry
Dec. 19th, 2005 @ 05:03 pm DEAR SANTA!!
Mashi's mood: amused
Mashi's music: chloe
Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

Last Thursday I saved a busload of nuns in Angola (326 points). In November I signed my organ donor card (28 points). In August I ruled Asscrackistan as a cruel and heartless dictator (-700 points). Last Saturday I pushed [info]sera_rain in the mud (-17 points). Last week I caught a purse-snatcher who stole [info]chaosmagicia's purse (30 points).

Overall, I've been naughty (-333 points). For Christmas I deserve a lump of coal!

Sincerely,
kill_with_joy

Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:


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LOL ME NAUGHTY ><>< but a lump of coal-_-
ANYHOW!! I RULED ASSCRACKISTAN (whereva dat is) AS A CRUEL AND HEARTLESS DICTATOR!! XDXD
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT LOL
But i reckon it should have been: as a short, weird and hypo dictator =P
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So far...
holidays have been...rather dull-_-
i haven't even been bothered to go out (too lazy lol)
anyways...watching Narnia tomorrow!! lol
About this Entry
Dec. 15th, 2005 @ 09:14 pm Singing~
Mashi's mood: happy
Mashi's music: 迷魂计
Singing

An inmate on death row was scheduled to be put to death by firing squad the following morning. One of the prison guards asked the inmate if he wanted something special for his last meal. The inmate declined the offer. Later, the prison guard asked the inmate if there was something special he wanted to do on his final day. Again, the inmate declined the offer. The following morning, as he inmate was being put before the firing squad, the guard asked him if he wanted a cigarette and a blindfold. "No," the inmate said, "just get it over with."

"Well, is there anything that I can do for you before you go?" asked the guard. The inmate thought for a moment, then replied, "Actually, music is my life. One thing I would really like would be to sing my favorite song, from beginning to end, without any interruptions." The guard nodded and agreed. "Go ahead," said the guard. The inmate started, "One billion bottles of beer on the wall..."

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XDXD LOL
Anyhow...enjoy holiday everyone ^0^
About this Entry
Dec. 5th, 2005 @ 05:15 pm Climbing through the kitchen window ^^''
Mashi's mood: i felt like a thief :P
Mashi's music: Sis playing piano

Jennie (me) unfortuantely arriving at the front door of her house at 3:55pm today after catching a bus home realized that her parents weren't at home and that she forgot to bring the keys -_- So she went to the garage door and found that it was locked. She decided to go round to the garden door but she first had to unlock the padlock of the garden fence-door, and because she never bother to try and remember the lock number she could not open it. So what does she do? Climb over the fence-door (it was way higher than her cos she's short). So she got one of those blue carton disposal box thingys and stood on it and climbed over the fence.

She walked around the garden. The two garden doors were locked. She then looked at all the windows and they were all closed. In despair, she walked around for one final look and *drumroll* she found an open window. The kitchen window. Unfortunately, the kitchen window is very small and pretty high up. But even in this kind of situation, she did not give up. She got one of the garden chair and stood on it. She still could not reach it. She needed something to put on the chair and thought of the blue carton disposal box thingys (which were outside-.-). So she climbed over the fence-door, threw one of the boxes over the fence-door and climbed back over (her family has two box thingys for some random reason).

She then placed the box on the chair and climbed/squeezed through the kitchen window. And so this is the fateful story of how Jennie with the help of two blue carton disposal box thingys and a chair climbed through her kitchen window because she forgot the keys.

^^''

About this Entry
Dec. 4th, 2005 @ 06:25 pm Phone Installation
Mashi's mood: tired
Mashi's music: sis screaming-.-
Phone Installation

A young businessman had just started his own firm. He'd rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?" The man said, "Sure. I've come to install the phone!"

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1 and 1/2 more days of school ^^''
About this Entry
Dec. 3rd, 2005 @ 02:22 pm New Perspective
Mashi's mood: tired
A NEW PERSPECTIVE ...

If we could shrink the earth's population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same, it would look something like the following:

There would be:

57 Asians

21 Europeans

14 from the Western Hemisphere, both north and south

8 Africans

52 would be female

48 would be male

70 would be non-white

30 would be white

70 would be non-christian

30 would be christian

99 would be heterosexual

1 would be homosexual

6 people would possess 59% of the entire world's wealth and all 6 would be from the United States

80 would live in substandard housing

70 would be unable to read

50 would suffer from malnutrition

1 would be near death; 1 would be near birth

1 would have a college education

1 would own a computer



When one considers our world from such a compressed perspective, our need to turn to God becomes glaringly apparent. The following is also something to ponder... If you woke up this morning with more health than illness... you are more blessed than the million who will not survive this week. If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation you are ahead of 500 million people in the world. If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep... you are richer than 75% of this world. If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace... you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy. If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone cares enough to get this article to you, and furthermore, you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world that cannot read at all.

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oh and i realized
christmas-card-writing is very tiring -.-''
About this Entry
Oct. 25th, 2005 @ 09:30 pm That's Once...
Mashi's mood: tired
Mashi's music: nth
lol sth funny..
hopefuly to cheer those of you how are depressed -.-''

.+. That's Once... .+.

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquillity had long been the talk of the town. A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.

"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the man. "We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom on the canyon by pack mule. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's mule stumbled. My wife quietly said, 'That's once.' We proceeded a little further and the mule stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, 'That twice.' We hadn't gone a half- mile when the mule stumbled the third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her pocket and shot the mule dead. I started to protest over her treatment of the mule when she looked at me and quietly said 'That's once.'"

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XD such a gud idea
About this Entry
Jun. 29th, 2005 @ 03:18 pm Visitors
Mashi's mood: calm
Mashi's music: miss fearnside talking
These parents were fighting, and the father screamed "Bitch!" and the mother hollered "Bastard!". Their little son came into the room and asked what they meant. The parents hesitated and said it meant 'Ladies And Gentlemen'.

The next day, the parents were fighting again. "Nice tits!" The father smirked. "Nice dick!" The mother said, confident. Again, their little son came into the room and asked "What do those words mean?". The parents stampered and said it meant 'Coats And Hats'.

The next day was Thanksgiving, and the little boy came into the bathroom and saw his dad shaving. The door knob hit his arm and he said "Shit!". The small boy asked "What does that mean?" and the dad smiled and said "Oh, it's the name of my shaving cream. Go downstairs to your mother.", the little boy agreed and hopped downstairs.

The mother was cutting the turkey and accidentally cut her finger. "Fuck!" She said. The little boy asked her "What does that mean?" and she replied happily, "Errr...that means I'm cutting the turkey."

DING DONG! The doorbell rang.

The little boy quickly fussed over to the door, and opened it with a screech. He saw his relatives, and some friends. With a big puff he said "Welcome to our house bitches and bastards. Hang up your tits and dicks. Dad is shaving the shit off himself while mom is fucking the turkey."

-------
lol ^.^
About this Entry
Jun. 22nd, 2005 @ 06:09 pm blood type
Mashi's mood: weird
Mashi's music: my sis using hairdrier
Type A
- Calm, level-headed, often serious
- Considerate about everything
- Reliable
- Slow to trust people
- Observes social rules and customs
- Restrained action and expression
- Purposeful
- Loyal
- hardworking

Type B
- Curious, interested in everything around them
- Can be considered fickle
- Do prioritize their many interests
- Not necessarily concious of circumstances or the results of their actions
- Doesn't care about social rules and customs
- Self-paced
- Easygoing

Type AB
- Sensitive to others around them
- Excels at most things
- Tend to be more strict with themselves and those close to them
- Good at adjusting to various relationships
- Sentimental
- Tends to thinks too much about some things
- Cool
- Intellectual

Type O
- Peaceful and carefree
- Can be stubborn and strong-willed
- Easygoing, liked by all
- Know how to take chances
- Trustworthy
- Intellegent, but can make large mistakes
- Athletic
- Energetic person
----------------------------------------
hm...if i remembered rite...
im supposed to be type A
About this Entry
Jun. 9th, 2005 @ 05:55 pm ASHTON DAT BYTCH
Mashi's mood: REALI REALI REALI REALI PISSED
Mashi's music: STUPID SIS PLAYING PIANO
OMFG IM SO BLOODY PISSED!!

I. HATE. DAT. STUPID. ASHTON. !!!! *TEARS HAIR OUT*

SHE F***EN LOST ALL OF MY WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i handed in my cutting list which on the back has my design develpment AND my final design and there she lost it

and wat??????!!! WHEN I ASKED IF SHE COULD TRY TO FIND IT SHE JUST SAID, "WELL I DON'T HAVE IT" AND SHE DIDN'T EVEN TRY TO FIND IT (BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

OMG IM SO PISSED AT HER

AND ALL SHE SAID WAS GO TELL ME TO DO IT AGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMGOSH SHE IS SUCH A BYTCH I WOULDN'T BE SUPRISED IF SHE WAS FIRED FROM ST CUTHS

OH.....STEPH NOS DIS....SHE IS SO DUMB SHE PROBABLY HAS A BRAIN SMALLER DAN A FEA

btw...her first name is gabrielle [wat a gay name it doesn't even deserve a capital letter]
About this Entry
Jun. 8th, 2005 @ 08:56 pm Friend-o-meter
Mashi's mood: weird
Mashi's music: DCending song
gothic_magelet
&
kill_with_joy
Friendship Level: 92%

LJ Username:


Random LJ Friend-O-Meter
From Go-Quiz.com

: hm....not better dan i thought :P

sera_rain
&
kill_with_joy
Friendship Level: 95%

LJ Username:


Random LJ Friend-O-Meter
From Go-Quiz.com

:ah...pretty gud

truthseer
&
kill_with_joy
Friendship Level: 83%

LJ Username:


Random LJ Friend-O-Meter
From Go-Quiz.com

:haha!! i can understand y :P

floofy_boofy
&
kill_with_joy
Friendship Level: 20%

LJ Username:


Random LJ Friend-O-Meter
From Go-Quiz.com

: man emy wat happened??

renegade_panda
&
kill_with_joy
Friendship Level: 49%

LJ Username:


Random LJ Friend-O-Meter
From Go-Quiz.com

:ow....

chaosmagicia
&
kill_with_joy
Friendship Level: 41%

LJ Username:


Random LJ Friend-O-Meter
From Go-Quiz.com

: wa.....??

chickmonk
&
kill_with_joy
Friendship Level: 63%

LJ Username:


Random LJ Friend-O-Meter
From Go-Quiz.com

: random.............................

--------------------------------------

shoot carmens da highest...
About this Entry
Jun. 7th, 2005 @ 02:18 pm cars & computers
Mashi's mood: cheerful
Mashi's music: ppls talking at...maths *.*
At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that have 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy you drive -- but would run only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water tem., and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "this Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. the airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

------------------
aint dat awesome!!
------------------
oh and...tell me which arm u got ur injection :P
About this Entry
Jun. 2nd, 2005 @ 11:57 am Closet
Mashi's mood: blank
Mashi's music: im...at....SST.................
A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work.
Unbeknownst to her, her 9 year old son is hiding in the closet.
Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she hides her lover in the closet.
The boy now has company...


Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice."
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "My dad's outside.
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "$250."


In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and
mom's lover are in the closet together.


Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is.
Boy: "I have a baseball glove."
Man: "How much?"
Boy: "$750."
Man: "Fine."


A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove.
Let's go outside and toss the baseball."
The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
The son says, "$1,000."
The father says, "That's a sin to overcharge your friends like that.
Now you go to the church and confess."


They go to church and the father alerts the priest,
and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't you start that shit again!"



*************
LOL* ^___^
About this Entry
May. 3rd, 2005 @ 09:29 pm term 2 countdown
Mashi's mood: gloomy
Mashi's music: nth
65 days 18 hours 10 mins till term 2 ends

--
>.< i no. im desperate
About this Entry
Apr. 26th, 2005 @ 08:23 pm 20 Things to do in a drive-thru
Mashi's mood: cheerful
Mashi's music: tv
20 Things to do in a drive-thru

1. Drive through the drive thru in reverse and let your passenger order

2. Ask prices of everything on the menu then order something that you did not ask the price for.

3. Pretend like your window is broken. Tell the employee this. Order with your door open, pay with your door open. Roll down window and take food through the window.

4. Go to McDonalds and demand a big breakfast at 11:30 at night. Put up a fight.

5. Pay for a large order in pennies and nickels unwrapped.

6. Order in another language. Be careful what neighborhood you are in.

7. When asked if they can take your order, tell them you are just window shopping and drive on.

8. Laugh sadistically when asked if you would like ketchup.

9. Ask how they fit into that little box.

10. If they make you wait, make them wait when they come back on.

11. Demand to speak to the manager. When he comes on, complain that you did not like the way the employee said "May I take your order?"

12. When asked if they can take your order say "No, why can't I take yours?"

13. If they ask you to wait, order anyway and keep doing it till they yell at you.

14. Pretend like your car broke down. Ask for assistance in moving it. When they come out, drive away.

15. Tell them you have to use the bathroom.

16. Order a cup of water and two napkins. That's it.

17. Don't order when they come on. Just sit there. If a line forms behind you, get out of the car and cause a scene.

18. When they hand you your food, hand them a bag back with all the trash from your car in it.

19. Just stare at them when you pay and get your food. Don't break your stare.

20. Honk your horn the whole way through the line.


--
About this Entry
Apr. 14th, 2005 @ 09:21 pm things to do in an elevator
Mashi's mood: awake
Things to do in an elevator:

1) When there's only one other person in the elvator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

3) Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.

5) Hold the doors open and say your saiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

6) Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

7) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

8) Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an apointment.

9) Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

10) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.

11) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

12) Ask, "Did you feel that?"

13) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

14) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"

15) Swat at flies that don't exist.

16) Tell people that you can see their aura.

17) Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.

18) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

19) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

20) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

21) Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

22) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

23) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

24) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

25) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".

26) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passnegers, "This is MY personal space!"
About this Entry
Apr. 7th, 2005 @ 01:39 pm blonde jokes
Mashi's mood: giggly
Mashi's music: nth
Note: These jokes are blonde jokes. If you're blond and they seem offensive to you, just imagine it's someone else. :)

Wild Horse
A blonde had a near death experience recently when she went horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started bouncing out of control. She tried with all her might to hang on, but was thrown off. With her foot caught in the stirrup, she fell head first to the ground. Her head continued to bounce on the ground as the horse did not stop or even slow down. Just as she was giving up hope and losing consciousness, the Wal-Mart manager came out and unplugged it. Thank goodness for heroes.

51 Days!
Two blondes walk into a bar, each orders a drink. They go and sit down and start toasting and chearing, "51 days! 51 days!!" About five minutes later, another blonde walks in, orders a drink, and joins the other two in the chearing. Finally, another blonde walkes in with what looks like a cardboard picture. She puts the picture thing in the middle of the table, and starts chearing with the others, "51 days! 51 days!! The Bar Tender starts too get really curious, so he walks over to discover that the picture is a Cookie Monster puzzle. He walks over to one of the blondes and asks, "What on earth are you doing??" "Well," the blonde says, "everyone thinks blondes are so stupid, so we proved them wrong. On the box of this puzzle, it says 2-4 years, but we finished it in only 51 days!!!

Magic Mirror
Once upon a time there was a magic mirror that could tell when you were lying. If you were, ZAP! it would suck you in and you were gone forever. One day, an old lady, a brunette, and a blonde happened by the mirror. The old lady looked in it and said, "I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world." ZAP! The mirror sucked her in and she was gone. The brunette looked in and said, "I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world." ZAP! The mirror sucked her in and she, too, disappeared. The blonde looked in and said, "I think. . ." ZAP!
About this Entry
Mar. 23rd, 2005 @ 08:14 pm turkey and the bull
Mashi's mood: relaxed
READ...

TURKEY AND THE BULL


Chatting with a bull, a turkey sighed and said, "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree, but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, the turkey reached the second branch. Finally, after a week, there he was, proudly perched at the top of the tree.

Soon, though, the turkey was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey from the tree.

Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there!
About this Entry
Mar. 22nd, 2005 @ 08:17 pm a nice story
Mashi's mood: blank
Read... A NICE STORY It was a nice day. The sun was shining nicely as I walked nicely down the nice street to the nice park. On my way to feed the nice ducks in the nice pond a not so very nice man jumped out from behind a nice bush and robbed me. It was not a nice experience. When I refused to give him any of my nice money, he punched me nicely on the jaw. Blood trickled nicely down my jaw from my nice mouth. Along came a nice policeman and I told him about my not so nice experience. He listened very nicely.
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Feb. 1st, 2005 @ 03:39 pm dragons are...real?!

OMGOSH!!

In the website, it says that its a real frozen dragon found in Romania in 2004... not sure if its real but hey!

If you can be bothered, take a look at this!!

 

A real dragon?! )

About this Entry